Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
