You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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