so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
