My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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