Got a toothbrush?
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
