Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Dear god my vagina.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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