You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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