Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
