exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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