This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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