I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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