honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
