We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
