did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
