So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
