Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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