the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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