i'm signing you up for texting rehab
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
