but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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