We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
