I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
