they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
