I accidentally burped into my bong.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
