the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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