I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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