My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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