Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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