apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
