so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
