I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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