There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
