Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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