remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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