The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
