In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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