I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
