How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize