i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
My penis needs a shock collar
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
