everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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