i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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