I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
