Midget sex pt 2 tonight
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
