Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
