Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
