Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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