you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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