haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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