This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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