WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
