Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
