I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
