just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
It was like getting head from an anaconda
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
