i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
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