Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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