Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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