Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize