Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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