Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Randomize
